Author: Wetbrain

Drinking Alone or Solitary Sot.

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So, there you are, by yourself sitting on 2 cases of beer watching a blank T.V. and listening to a silent phone. Ready to party but nobody is around. What to do?

Solitary Sots are more popular than you would think, lots of people drink alone. You see it on movies all the time. George Thorogood sings about it. Everyone does it at one time or another. Some, in fact, drink alone all the time. Probably disgusted with the idea of being with other slobbering drunks.

“If I am a lonely drinking sot tonight, might as well make the best of it. Drinking games for the solitary sot it is!”, giggles Dr. Wetbrain to himself.

This is not the doctor’s first rodeo at getting drunk by himself. He even invented some drinking games to make these special occasions more fun.

So, stay tuned for some cool drinking games for the Solitary Sot in everyone. First drinking game coming soon called CAP.

Old Dean Martin and Bob Newhart Comedy Skit.

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I hate Harold’s old TV set! Dr. Wetbrain blurted out one day.

“Oh, sure the twenty-inch screen picture looks good. But it’s an old picture tube TV that weighs like 300 pounds. And, for some reason because of the sun angle we had to move this damn TV three times a day. Thank you, Harold.”

Moving this heavy TV did often remind me of classic TV shows from the 60’s for some reason. One of my favorite memory of shows was an old Dean Martin and Bob Newhart comedy skit. Remember the 60’s had a different attitude and humor compared to life now. So did the 1800’s for that matter.

You have to admit, the picture quality on old picture tube TVs had a special charm compared to the new high definition flat-screens.

 

Drunk Wild Animals.

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One day while sitting in Harold’s porch his dog Tequila walked by. Seeing the dog Harold recalled a moment, then glanced at Dr. Wetbrain and spoke.

“I was drinking with this hillbilly on his farm one day and he had a huge mangy dog. This dog has his own beer bowl! This hillbilly would pour two cans of beer into this bowl and the dog would sloppily lap up most of the beer, looked at us then staggered away. Weird!”

The Doctor sat up, put down his beer and said, “That’s not weird! All sorts of wild animals like to get drunk also. Let me tell you about some of these drunk wild animals.”

In Madden, Alberta there are the Bohemian Waxwing birds who in the fall consume as much fermented Mountain Ash berries as possible before the winter weather comes in and the berries are gone. These drunk birds were stumbling around and flying into things like windows and power poles. So, in Madden the Alberta Institute for Wildlife Center collects these drunk, passed out birds, then they are put into a hamster cage till they sober up. Then these waxwing birds are released the next day into the wild. A bird drunk tank.

In Sweden, Per Johansson found a female moose stuck and kicking around in his apple tree. Now that I think of it, I have had a few dates that did the same thing. The assumption is that this poor moose was likely drunk from the fermented apples lying all over the ground.

Seemingly drunk Swedish moose found stuck in tree – Twin Cities

Be careful on the beach with your drinks on the Caribbean Island of St. Kitts for the Vervet monkeys will steal them. These little monkeys will sneak up to you and when you are not watching will snatch your drink. Then, they run away and when it is safe will happily guzzle your Strawberry Daiquiri down. Studies have shown that most of these, booze stealing Vervet monkeys drink in moderation, but around 12% of them are heavy drinkers. Nothing worse then, a drunken monkey.

Giggling Dr. Wetbrain looks at Harold and blurted out, “You know Harold when you drink whiskey you also become a drunk wild animal.”

Booze At The International Space Station.

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One clear starry night Harold and the doctor were sitting back on old lawn chairs and drinking beer in Dr. Wetbrain’s back yard. In complete silence they stared at the quiet night sky.

Dr. Wetbrain pointed at the night sky and broke the silence, “See that bright, star Harold? That’s the International Space Station. Did you know that ample amount of alcohol was launched to that space station?”

The International Space Station may open to tourists in 2020 - Lonely Planet

“Right, I’m sure.” Was Harold’s doubtful reply.

“Let me tell you about it.” Dr. Wetbrain smartly replied.

First, all alcohol is prohibited from the International Space Station. Even perfume, hand sanitizer and mouthwash are banned. Though in the early days of space flight Russian cosmonauts confessed to smuggle alcohol on their space mission in juice containers and hollowed out books.

In November 2019, on a Northrop Grumman Antares flew to the I.S.S. with 12 bottles of Red Bordeaux wine for a one-year experiment. Each bottle was stowed in a special steel cylinder. Thank you Space Cargo Unlimited who brought the non-gravity space experiments to the International Space Station. Along for the ride went a bottle each of 320 Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon wines.

Thank you, Elon Musk’s SpaceX for the voyage of these wines with a successful flight and Earth landing which occurred January 2021. Each steel cylinders were fished up by a SpaceX boat from the Gulf of Mexico then transported by helicopter to NASA’s Space Station Research Lab.

Northrop says it's on schedule with next-generation OmegA rocket - UPI.com

Another non-gravity project onto the I.S.S. was an experiment by the Suntory Whiskey Distillery from Japan. In August 2015, the aging process of whiskey in space was preformed.

Budwiser launched four missions to the International Space Station to experiment on barley in a gravity free environment in hoping to eventually establish a brewery on Mars. Positive thinking!

Working with beer recently September 2021, SpaceX’s Inspiration 4 mission took 30 kilos of hops to I.S.S. which was then auctioned off to Samuel Adams Boston Brewery to make a limited edition of ‘Space Beer’. Very cool is that the auction proceeds went to benefit the St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital for cancer research.

Lastly on April 2012 Ardbeg Distillery from Islay, Scotland sent up vials of Scotch Whiskey and a few pieces of charred oak on an unmanned cargo flight to the International Space Station for a two-year experiment.

Dr. Wetbrain ends the story with a joke. “A small space craft flew beside the I.S.S. with two green aliens inside it. One spoke out, “Look Zork a new liquor store!”

Harold rolling his eyes, “Not funny Wetbrain!”

Download HD Alien-spaceship - Cartoon Aliens In Spaceships Transparent PNG Image - NicePNG.com

Song – S.O.B. By Nathaniel Rateliff.

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“Harold wake-up!” Dr. Wetbrain yells. “We have less then 2 hours to get to an awesome band! Ever hear of Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats?

Harold immediately stood up and said, “S.O.B.!”

“What did you call me!” Mad Dr. Wetbrain shouted with a smirk.

“No, the S.O.B. song!” Harold replied. Dr. Wetbrain concurred with him, “Yes that’s him. Now warm up your beater pick-up and let’s go. Time is a wasting away.”

Singing together off they went down the dirt road on Harold’s old pick-up.

“Son-of-a-bitch were going to have fun!” Dr. Wetbrain yells out the window.

After the show Dr. Wetbrain admits to Harold how he loves that southern upbeat church style music that Nathaniel Rateliff fabulously performed with the song S.O.B..

Match Game – 70’s TV Show.

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Dr. Wetbrain loves certain game shows especially the old Match Game. Only because he heard that booze was consumed by the cast during the taping. What a way to spruce up a TV game show. He would say giggling.

Why Every '70s Game Show Must Bow Down To 'Match Game' : NPR

Here is the Match Game story.

Host of the #1 TV game show in the 70’s Gene Rayburn would fly into Los Angeles from Cape Cod, Massachusetts every weekend to film the show. One week of shows were filmed in a day.

So, a bit of drink was consumed by most of the panelists during the lunch and dinner breaks amid the taping. There were also breaks between each show, where panelists changed outfits, given food and beverage which included alcohol. The odd time you would see a panelist with a Styrofoam cup. Might be filled with water or might be filled with vodka.

Panelists Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly, who became great friends, enjoyed martinis. Richard Dawson on the other hand just drank coffee. Apparently, the contestants had access to the ‘break bar’ which gave more gusto to the Match Game show also.

One week of five television shows taped in one day! Little casual drinks throughout the day does end up with a good buzz after awhile. This drinking magnetism is what made the game show very amusing and popular. After the dinner break the cast were really feeling good and it was time to tape the Thursday and Friday shows. That’s why the Thursday and Friday shows were the best.

Thinking of this TV game show Dr. Wetbrain would sit on his couch looking off into the distance and say, “Awe, the good old days of television.”

Hans Island – The Friendliest War.

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“Wake up Harold!” Dr. Wetbrain yells at him sleeping on the couch. “Watching the news drew me to this thought. Harold, wake up!”

In our wicked world these days we have the absurd cruelty of Afghanistan’s new killing forces and those poor condemned and tortured Uighurs (Weegers) in China. And the list goes on. What’s wrong with these leaders? I would say lots! Are they drunk?!

Anyways, this is a needed comforting story to tell about a vicious battle between Canada and Denmark. Otherwise noted as the ‘friendliest war in history’.

This story is all about a desolate island rock, 1.3 kilometers in diameter named Hans Island, after Hans Hendrick of Greenland. No vegetation at all. An island positioned in Nares Strait, a 22-mile-wide channel between Canada and Greenland (which is owned by Denmark).

How Battle over Hans Island is fought with Bottles of Liquor?

 

Since the 1930’s Denmark and Canada argued over the ownership of this lowly rock.

So, one day in 1984 Canadian Troops visited Hans Island and planted a Canadian flag along with a bottle of Canadian Club Whiskey.

Well, Denmark’s Minister of Greenland shortly after landed on the island and took the Canadian flag down and the whiskey disappeared only to be replaced with the Danish flag and a bottle of schnapps.

This battle continued back and forth for three decades. The empty bottles of alcohol were never found.

New proposal would see Hans Island split equally between Canada and Denmark | Nunatsiaq News

May 2018, sovereign on Hans Island was established where both Denmark and Canada own this island as a neutral zone where a weather station has been built and is run by both countries.

Now this rock island has a weather station shared by both countries and the alcohol trade tradition continues. The empty bottles are still missing.

“Harold, isn’t this the friendliest war in the world?” Dr. Wetbrain asks. Hung-over Harold just gives a thumbs up and curls up back to sleep.