Category: Drinking alone

Dr. Wetbrain Almost Drowned.

Wetbrain Leave a comment

Dr. Wetbrain Almost Drowned.

Harold wanted me to tell you about my near drowning story. Dr. Wetbrain who almost drowned stated.

Let’s just begin. So, there I am out in the boonies of Northwest Ontario, Canada. And… decided to purchase a huge canoe. Huge! You could probably put a sail on it. Never paddled a canoe but let’s give this ship a try.

So, one sunny day by myself I was floating around in this river sipping on a large bottle of whiskey. Suddenly all these curious beavers swam up to me. We drank whiskey and played peek-a-boo for hours. Slapping our tails and having a great time. Eventually the river current swept me away from my cute playful friends.

This strange river has all sorts of current conditions from rapids to creepy still water lanes where paddling does not even help.

At a certain quiet part of the river, I had to have a pee! There is a reason they say do not stand in a canoe. Unstable and drunk into the river I went. Even sober have you ever tried to get into a floating canoe. A very tippy situation.

Quickly swam to the canoe before I couldn’t. All I was able to do was hang on to this big ass boat. Still pissed off that I lost all the booze.

The other shoreline where I had to be looked so far away. So, hanging on to this safety line I paddled with my legs towards the opposite shoreline. Any propulsion to move forward stalled due to that part of this weird river current. Paddled for a long time then looking at my surroundings I realized that I never moved… at all. If I could just get this big ass canoe named ‘Hope’ into moving current, I would have it made. Not happening!

Drunk as I was, the safety thought of the canoe was always there. Should I abandon big ass Hope and swim to the shoreline. I am a good swimmer.

After a good rest I shoved Hope away. Oh, great now you move! Dr. Wetbrain yelled.

Knowing the distance, I swam slowly to save energy. It took awhile to get out of the stalled part of the river. Eventually I was on my way. Now I’m in the heavy current getting pulled down stream and having to swim a little harder.

By the time I was nearing the wanted shoreline by 100 feet or so, I was extremely exhausted. Will I make it?! Now I’m swimming a very slow breaststroke. Barely keeping my head above the surface. Determined not to die I struggled on. Finally, 2 yards away from the shore and the water was still too deep to walk out of the river. Damn!

The tired swim continued. The last few yards felt like it took forever. When I was crawling on to solid land I yelled, “I MADE IT!” Thought I was going to meet my maker a few times.

I’m out of that nasty river. Unfortunately I have to climb a high steep bank to climb to the main land and golf coarse road which went to town and my warm dry apartment. Thank you the pick-up truck with drunk people in the box that picked me up and took me home.

Moral of the story – Don’t get drunk with beavers.

Solitary Sot Series – Drinking Alone by Dimpling Alone.

Wetbrain Leave a comment

This is the last installment of the Solitary Sot Series which is dedicated to the Drinking Alone comrade. Who could forget the first drinking alone game of ‘Cap’. Then there was the energetic solitary game of ‘Darts For One’. We now conclude the Solitary Sot Series with a fun card game called ‘Dimpling Alone’.

DIMPLING ALONE

  Preparation:

Step 1

In the middle of table, place 3 cards down (face up).

Each card must be a different suit. If the same suit comes up, replace and burry old card back into deck. Repeat if necessary.

Dimpling Alone by Dr. Wetbrain

 

Step 2

Deal yourself ten cards (or how many you want). Do not look at cards that were dealt to yourself. 

Play: 

Step 1

Now the game starts with you picking up first top card…. look at it. If that card is the same suit as any of the 3 cards faced up, put that card down on that suit. Now there should be 2 cards on that suit.

2 cards = 2 drinks

Hang on to your seat…. the drinking begins. 

Step 2

Take another turn, one card at a time.

3 cards of same suit = 3 drinks

4 cards of same suit = 4 drinks

9 cards of same suit = 9 drinks

12 cards ……… etc.

Conclusion: 

Drinking alone, a solitary sot, is not a bad thing to do. First, there is no one to argue with, no one to cry on your shoulder, no one constantly talking forever without you getting a word in edge wise, no one bumming smokes and beer, no one vomiting on you, and the list goes on.

The additional bonus is when you finally pass out you have nothing to fear, like someone drawing on you with a permanent marker or shaving your eye brows. That’s what Dr. Wetbrain says. Awe memories.

Solitary Sot – Drinking Darts For One.

Wetbrain Leave a comment

Let us continue with the Solitary Sot series for the hardy drink alone drunk. Darts for one sounds good and easy.

 

DARTS FOR ONE

 

Preparation: 

Step 1

You need booze, a dart board and 3 darts (one will do).

Play: 

Step 1

Stand back 10 feet from the dart board. 

Step 2

Close your eyes and shoot, at the board, one dart at a time.

Step 3

Each of the numbers you hit divisible by three, you have one drink for each. (i.e. – 3, 6, 9, 12, 15 & 18) .

 

If you thought this game was fun alone, wait for the next Solitary Sot game coming soon. Stay tuned.

 

Drinking Alone Game, Solitary Sot – Cap.

Wetbrain Leave a comment

    “If you’re drinking alone, might as well have fun.” Dr. Wetbrain thought to himself staring at his silent phone.

The drinking game “Caps” is usually played by two or more contestants. “Cap” is played by only one lonely drinker. One hell of a way to pass the time while getting drunk by yourself. Be the Solitary Sot.

Play – “Cap”. 

Need:

Bottled beer, hopefully lots. 

Preparation:

Step 1           

On the floor, place upright a full uncapped beer bottle. Place the cap upside down on top of the beer bottle. 

Step 2

Pace out 10 feet from that bottle in a straight line. And, at the ten-foot mark place another full uncapped beer bottle. Do the same as the first bottle with the upside-down cap and all. 

Step 3

You will need three other beer bottle caps.

Cap by Dr. Wetbrain 

Play: 

Step 1

Get behind one of the bottles and sit down. Make sure you are facing the other bottle 10 feet away.

Step 2

With the three bottle caps in hand, one at a time attempt to knock off the other upside-down cap from the other bottle.

Step 3

If you knock off the cap with your three tries. You get to go to the other bottle and drink it down. And now it is your turn again to knock off the cap from the bottle on the other side. Oh, replace and recap the target bottle you are leaving from, after you’ve had your drink.

Dr. Wetbrain

Step 4

If you miss knocking the cap off after three tries. No drinking. You must go and retrieve those caps. Come back and try again. The object of the game is to aim and knock off caps that are on the opposing beer bottle. Until you can’t hit the target no more. Too drunk perhaps.

 

Dr. Wetbrain’s Conclusion

     This is the first drinking alone game from the Solitary Sot list. Stay tuned for more drinking games to have fun getting drunk all by yourself.

Drinking Alone or Solitary Sot.

Wetbrain Leave a comment

So, there you are, by yourself sitting on 2 cases of beer watching a blank T.V. and listening to a silent phone. Ready to party but nobody is around. What to do?

Solitary Sots are more popular than you would think, lots of people drink alone. You see it on movies all the time. George Thorogood sings about it. Everyone does it at one time or another. Some, in fact, drink alone all the time. Probably disgusted with the idea of being with other slobbering drunks.

“If I am a lonely drinking sot tonight, might as well make the best of it. Drinking games for the solitary sot it is!”, giggles Dr. Wetbrain to himself.

This is not the doctor’s first rodeo at getting drunk by himself. He even invented some drinking games to make these special occasions more fun.

So, stay tuned for some cool drinking games for the Solitary Sot in everyone. First drinking game coming soon called CAP.