I Cry For Whiskey and Rye.

I Cry, For Whiskey and Rye.

I, Dr. Wetbrain, pledge a solemn oath to whiskey and rye. Rye and water are my favorite poisons. So, I know a little bit about whiskey and rye.

The word ‘whiskey’ comes from the Gaelic uisge beatha, meaning ‘lively water’ or ‘water of life’. Interesting to note how also the American Natives use to call whiskey ‘fire water’.

Whiskey, rye or bourbon are more of a European, American and Canadian made spirit compared to the rest of the world.

I very much enjoy a glass of whiskey or two, usually with two thirds of the glass with cold water added as mix to the rye. Mostly in movies, on the other hand, people will down about two ounces at once in a shot glass. Holly, cow! Must have been watered down.

Whiskey is made by distilling fermented barley, rye or wheat grain in large stills and then aged in charred wooden ‘aging’ barrels.

Difference between Whiskey and Rye. 

Whiskey is an American and Canadian based libation made with either wheat, corn, barley or many other grains.

Rye is a type of whiskey, made the same way, but with at least 51% rye mash.

Scotch is made from fermented barley.

Irish whiskey must ferment with added yeast. I’m sure that each distillery has their own tricks of the trade with the production of these spirits by using other additions and processes and aging times. No matter what, each finished product is like a piece of art. 

Bourbon is a whiskey which is fermented with at least 51% corn mash.

Brief History, On Whiskey

Whiskey’s distilling tricks of the trade were brought on by monks between 1100 – 1300 AD to Scotland and Ireland.

At one time beer made with barley was distilled into hard liquor. Medicine they all thought. Speaking of medicine, in the dirty thirties (Prohibition time), over a million gallons of whiskey was prescribed by dignified doctors to sufferers of many unique ailments.

In 1794 during the American Revolutionary War whiskey was used as currency for room and board, bullets, boots, etc.…

      Moonshine, white lightning, hooch is usually made by refining 100% corn mash and distilling this mash in a contraption called a ‘still’. Totally illegal to manufacture this moonshine in its time, production was done in secrecy.

This high proofed alcohol was in high demand during the prohibition era (1920 – 1933). During this era, the speakeasies bought moonshine and watered it down for more profits.

“Harold sounds dignified when he drinks whiskey, when I have seen others go snake crazy drinking this spirit”, Dr. Wetbrain remarks.

Hans Island – The Friendliest War.

“Wake up Harold!” Dr. Wetbrain yells at him sleeping on the couch. “Watching the news drew me to this thought. Harold, wake up!”

In our wicked world these days we have the absurd cruelty of Afghanistan’s new killing forces and those poor condemned and tortured Uighurs (Weegers) in China. And the list goes on. What’s wrong with these leaders? I would say lots! Are they drunk?!

Anyways, this is a needed comforting story to tell about a vicious battle between Canada and Denmark. Otherwise noted as the ‘friendliest war in history’.

This story is all about a desolate island rock, 1.3 kilometers in diameter named Hans Island, after Hans Hendrick of Greenland. No vegetation at all. An island positioned in Nares Strait, a 22-mile-wide channel between Canada and Greenland (which is owned by Denmark).

How Battle over Hans Island is fought with Bottles of Liquor?

 

Since the 1930’s Denmark and Canada argued over the ownership of this lowly rock.

So, one day in 1984 Canadian Troops visited Hans Island and planted a Canadian flag along with a bottle of Canadian Club Whiskey.

Well, Denmark’s Minister of Greenland shortly after landed on the island and took the Canadian flag down and the whiskey disappeared only to be replaced with the Danish flag and a bottle of schnapps.

This battle continued back and forth for three decades. The empty bottles of alcohol were never found.

New proposal would see Hans Island split equally between Canada and Denmark | Nunatsiaq News

May 2018, sovereign on Hans Island was established where both Denmark and Canada own this island as a neutral zone where a weather station has been built and is run by both countries.

Now this rock island has a weather station shared by both countries and the alcohol trade tradition continues. The empty bottles are still missing.

“Harold, isn’t this the friendliest war in the world?” Dr. Wetbrain asks. Hung-over Harold just gives a thumbs up and curls up back to sleep.